The lack of sleep is definitely catching up with me! Charlie is a snuggle bug sleeper. Translation...Sleeps best when I'm holding her. Translation: I sleep horribly and end up holding her in bed all night! Seriously kid! And it's only at night! Right now she's happy as a clam by herself sawing logs for a good three hours! Go figure! I don't remember my others being this attached at night! It's been rough!
I'm also dealing with a lot of other random things that don't seem to be helping. I'm of course feeling the guilt of having to share my time and attention four ways. There's no way around this one!Guilt is guilt and when you toss in hormones and sore boobs it's a recipe for disaster! I started "Special time" with the girls where they get one on one time with me. Today I painted Blues nails. She was in heaven just the two of us!
I miss Mike too. He's here but I'm so wrapped up in being a mom and he's totally picking up the slack. We're both living these totally busy lives with different responsibilities, we seem to be passing each other. I feel it more then ever because I'm completely falling in love with him all over again as I see him doing so much. It's like all I want to do is stop everything, climb into his arms and just be with him. Tell him how much I adore him and appreciate all that he is doing and just sob! ok... I did that this morning and he just let me! One more reason I love him.
Love makes you feel crazy inside! It's a good crazy but lately my love seems to be oozing from my eyes in the form of tears! I'll look at my kids and tear up. I think about Mike my eyes leak a little more! I love it actually. This is one time in my life I really give into my emotions! Again...hormones, sleep deprivation and new baby spirits tend to do that to me!
Charlies been a good baby in general. More needie in the sense that she loves to be held but it's easy to hold something you love so much. The girls are having their moments as to be expected! I still wouldn't wish these days away. I'll never have Charlie as tiny as she is today. We'll never be this amazing team, working together in all of it's newness. It's a good time in our lives.
There has been a lot swirling around me in the last week. I'm trying to do my best and keep everything in perspective. What's really important, what I can and can not control...I'm trying to focus on the things that I want to remember and not on the things that could cloud it all up.
So basically you could say I'm a typical new mom! Enjoying the highs and lows of a new baby at home and all that involves! I'd never give it up! I'd never trade it for anything! I feel blessed to be who I am, as I am, with the litlte family I've helped create!
7 comments:
Oh man! That is the perfect description of those first days at home. Soak it up and barrel through, all at the same time!
sweet post! you are such a special mom! I can really learn a lot from you!
what a wonderful post Becca. You have a way with words. You need to write a book.
You are such a great mom!
Big hugs!
OMG I totally know what you mean. You have said it perfectly! I wondered if I was the only one that was so emotional the first week of having Sophie home. I cried all the time for nothing. She too prefers to be held at night to sleep but during the day she is absolutely fine just sleeping by herself. GO FIGURE!
Anyways...I just wanted to say I'm right there with ya...only you have 2 more kiddos than i do ;)
Miss you Becca! xoxox to you all! love u!
Well said my friend...well said!
you completely captured probably every mom's feeling when a new baby enters the family! beautifully said! it is a fun and chaotic time! I too have that guilt that I'm not giving enough one on one to each of my loves and then there's the me time...where did that go! but it's all so worth it. charlie is a doll! and kudos to mike to just being there...I know that's what has helped me the most--just having jake there to hold my hand and let me cry when I get overwhelmed...oh and doing the dishes and cleaning the house are great bonuses too!
Hearing you loud and clear on the leaking eyes! So very uncontrollable! Love your attitude and will have to adopt your way of seeing the positive to it all - thanks for sharing.
Post a Comment