Sep 20, 2009

Done and DONE!

Sooo glad this week is over! Not that I didn't enjoy it but man was it a lot of work! I'm happy to report the birthday bash went off without a hitch... ok well maybe two hitches! We ran out of propane for the bbq and my DSLR Camera battery was dead! Fun huh! Nothing a quick trip to Home Depot and a Camera toting party guest couldn't fix! Thanks to a friend I had a nice camera to shoot with and hopefully I'll get those pictures back soon! I didn't have the right cables to upload it right away. Shucks!!!

Anyway... Mike and I deserve "Parents of the Year awards!" We busted our butts on this shin dig. Cricket tells us Saturday morning as we were decorating " I want to go to Chuck E. Cheeses for my birthday next week ok?!?" Um... HELLO kiddo... this is your Chuck E. Cheese!!! DUDE kid!

Today we were so dead tired! It takes a lot out of ya to be a cool parent and throw a party. This is why we only do this once every 5 years!

Sep 14, 2009

Busy week!

This week is going to jam packed with a tons to do! I have a laundry list of things I have to get done this week. We have family coming to town so I need to get the down stairs and guest room in order and my biggest event to worry about is the girls huge birthday party!!!WE are doing a carnival and there is lots to get done! Why does everything so like so much fun in the the planning phase and then feel like too much in the executing stage!!!!

I'm glad I can check off Teaching in Relief Society off my list! I love to teach!!! Love love love it! But the weeks before when I'm trying to work through my plan of attach is always something I dread! All in all it was a great lesson to work on. It was on Friendship. I love it when I can teach a good topic! Everyone had lots to say as a teacher it was welcoming interaction.

I started off the lesson with lipstick on my teeth! It was a test to see if I had any true friends in the crowd. It took a few minuets, some uncomfortable stares and a brave sister to finally tell me I had lipstick on my teeth!!! It was a fun way to get the lesson started!

Well I better get to it! To much to do to waste teh day away on line!!! I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Sep 10, 2009

It's not everyday...

a stranger stops you in the grocery store to tell you you're a good mom!

This morning while on my walk we stopped in Albertsons. A sweet old, questionably 100% there if you know what I mean, lady stopped me and commented what a good mom I was! I was flattered! I was assuming she was refering to my early morning outing with two kids in a stroller. But I was wrong! She was refering to the fact that I had given Blue A donut and she was covered almost from ear to ear in chocolate frosting!

At first I wasn't sure if she was actually insulting me and using tricky reverse psychology on me and actually "dissing" my parenting skills or if she was genuinely impressed in my generosity. She then started going on and on about how people need to give in to their kids more! She retold a story, in great detail how she witnessed a little boy scream and cry for a piece of cake that the parents wouldn't let him have! Pretty sure I don't aggree with her on giving in to screaming kids!!!

So there you have it. I was recognized for my "parenting" skills. Shoot!!! Wasn't I just complaining about not getting recognition!!! Ask and ye shall receive!

Call me crazy but

Sep 1, 2009

Here I go again being too honest ..

As overwhelming as motherhood and being a stay at home mom can be at times , I'd like to also add it's a little underwhelming as well!

All to often I gripe and moan over unruly toddlers who wears permanent scowls or one more day where I never once heard a single "Thank you!" I know I'm not the only one who deals with loads of laundry, dirty showers and "what's for dinner" conundrums.

Day in day out it can feel like all I do is hit the rewind and play button. And that's what makes it underwhelming as well! Predictable, unavoidable and stagnant at times!

Something must be wrong with me!Selfish I guess. I'm programed to need more praise or acknowledgment. More gratitude for what I do. I think that's my biggest flaw.

I'm greedy, needy and selfish.

I find it perfectly acceptable to expect a thank you for a meal I just prepared. I want to be told I am doing a good job! I need to hear that my efforts are not going unnoticed. Sadly I need to know these things. I, unlike employees of a company, don't get a form of compensation reflecting my productivity and value to a job.

My paycheck should be my family and home...I know! I get it! But heaven forbid I crave a little more then that!

This is where I faultier...time and time again!

I'll fall into a funk where I feel less then appreciated. It may just be underlying. I may not even notice it at first. That's when I start to care less about what I need to be doing...laundry sits clean in the laundry room begging to be folded. The basement stands still with a project on a table and the excuse " No one really will see it!" I do the bare minimum because I'm getting the bare minimum as a result. Horrible I know! It's hard to want to work your best when it feels like you get jack crap in return.

And then it all comes to a head and once again I feel undervalue and to blame yet still struggling to find my way out out and not be bitter for the reminder that I SUCK AT MY JOB!!!!

For sure this is why I blog!!! (Total sad confession coming out right now!!!) How pathetic!!! I feel my best when others tell me I'm doing something good! When I hear my efforts are being noticed or I have inspired someone else! Blogging does that for me! It's like I'm having an affair with blogger and the thousands of people who read my blog and leave me uplifting comments! It's the attention I need!!! I get what I'm not getting as a mom and home maker from perfect strangers on line who I will never meet...never disappoint or never tick off! Because I feel appreciated and needed I want to do more and be great at what I do.

I know this is totally pathetic! TOTALLY PATHETIC!!! I admit it! But it's my outlet! No different from someone who starts a business and puts so much work and effort in it simply to succeed. No one ever does anything NOT to feel some sort of accomplishment in it.

I just wish I didn't NEED it so much! I wish that my life as a mom and homemaker could fill me enough to be ok just being a mom and a home maker. But honestly I'm soooo much more then that and blogging is my way of tapping into that existance. Is that so wrong?

It is going to take years and years to cash in on my "mothering" investment. I know it will all pay off. I know I am doing the right thing as a mother. I just enjoy a little instant gratification once in a while!

So that's where I am in life! Right now at least.