Ahh yes! The return.
It was bound to happen...
I couldn't stay away forever....
yet at times I had nothing worthy to say... or did I?
I'm in some sort of place right now.
A state of unfamiliar feelings. I've been here for a while and the best way I can describe it is this:
I'm in a FUNK! YES people! A FUNK!
Not quite sure how to act, feel, move forward!
No need to worry! I've been in funks before! I actually welcome this odd sort of state I'm in. I'm up for the lessons it's teaching me and the journey I'm on.
I must have had it too good. I was stagnate and stale and in need of a life shake up if you will. I'm looking at things differently. I'm being honest with my thoughts. I'm sorting through the fog in my head.
Frustrating? at times.
Scary? not really.
This is life. I'm in the throws of MY life.
I have dear dear friends. People I love. People who I know love me. It's been inspiring to chat with my dear friends and sort through my thoughts. I love what I have discovered about myself, about motherhood and Spirituality. Thank you sweet friends. I needed that!
I'm aware of many things right now. I know who I want to be. Getting there is where I'm at.
I'm in the treading water stage of my life. It's not a bad thing....It's a working hard thing. These years are so important. Hard and important. I'm treading water trying to do it right, keep it up, stay in rhythm....not drowned. Treading water, treading water....
I'm happy for the struggle and the challenge. Treading water for so long isn't going to kill me. It will hurt and it will test my abilities but it will also do something wonderful.
It
will
make
me
stronger.
It will give me legs to hold me up. It will teach me patience. It will give me the power I need to do what I do.
I'll tread for as long as I need to. As long as it takes to make me as strong as I need to be for what may lie ahead.
Maybe I should look at it as being "in training." You would never run a marathon without ever lacing up your running shoes and expect to do well right?
That's it... I'm In training. And for what you may ask? For life I guess. For a life I love and a life I've worked hard at to enjoy!
So pardon my absence. No need to worry...it's just me. Here. Now... in training.
