Tis time...

Oh boy! You'd think that a girl who can't turn her mind off at night and has a million thing to say would be a better blogger! I beg your pardon, self! I know I should and can do better. Shame on me! This site in particular is for my benefit. A place to spew my inner thoughts and life as I know it. So much has happened in the past few years. Note worthy things that I want to remember and yet as I lived them I've had a new perspective...living them is sometimes enough. I got caught up in the world where I thought every little thing needed to be shared. Every project, every recipe, every antidote. I was sharing things that meant little to me as a mom, sister, neighbor and friend. What I should have been recording were my feelings, my actions, my teaching moments and the times I grew. So here's to getting back on track. Recording the things that mean something to me. That capture a glimpse of my personality and who I am right here and now! Because really...how else am I going to remember how cool I was at 35! Wink, wink!

Dear 55 year old self,
Remember that time when you were 35 and you thought your wrinkles around your eyes and your perma scowl were such a drag!? I bet you were wishing for that face now!!!

( self deprecation can also be used to gain perspective! When I see something about myself that I don't love I try to remember to be grateful cause really.... It's only going to get worse and what I really should be doing is loving and enjoying myself now!

Love is in the air!

Let the record show that I am over the moon in love! Totally head over heels with a man who returns the sentiment in ways that send butterflies a flutter in my stomach! Yes they have to do with chocolate dipped strawberries AND back tickles! That's really all I need to be 100% on top of the world and to have then all at once! Wow-e-mama!


Kids...listen up! Some day you'll be glad that dad and I make out in the kitchen! It's embarrassing and "GROSS" now I know but trust me... parents who make out smack dab in the middle of dinner time  is totally cool! TOTALLY!  Take a lesson form me...Show your affection! Shout "I love you" for all to hear! I'm setting an example for you! To be adored by the one you love is worth showing off! I can only pray that you feel as loved as I do by your crazy and sexy father! Yes I just said sexy, Cricket! You'll get over it!

Thin can suck too you know!

Here's a double standard I HATE!  You'd never go up to someone and say " Dude! You are so fat! Look at that belly and check out your butt! Beep beep beep.....make room for wide load!!" If you did you'd probably lose friends, be labeled as a totally insensitive idiot and not be invited to social gatherings for fear of you causing spontaneous cry fests from over weight friends!

So then why is it totally acceptable for people to comment on thin, underweight people? Trust me...being thin doesn't make one's life as rosy and rainbow filled as you'd think! Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, that thin person struggles with body imagine just as much as someone who is overweight? Speaking from experience....WE DO!

My entire life I've been underweight! Shoot....I lied on my license and said I weighed 91lbs. when I was 16 because I was so embarrassed that I was still in the 80's and in high school!I never wore tank tops for fear my stick figure arms would scare small children and who likes growing up and having everyone assume you have an eating disorder! I had an ugly man face, huge teeth covered in braces and the body of a 10 year old! Pretty glamorous right!

I wasn't until I was a sophmore in college that I finally hit the 100 pound mark! I gained 10lbs. in college, got stretch marks on my butt and finally started liking the way I looked.My face filled in, my arms looked normal and I could shop in the Jr. Department!

As an adult I've watched my body totally change as I've grown babies inside, watched my hips spread and never go back, watch my boobs go from barely there to "Thank you Breast feeding" to "really?Just a nipple!?" I've wished for more weight, I've wished for less, I wished for energy and strength that this small little body just can't provide! I've wished and I've wished and I've judged and I've been disappointed in my own body! I've never been immune to the criticism of self image.

So here's a little food for thought people! Just because someone is thin doesn't mean there life is perfect and magical! Just because a thin person is starting a workout routine doesn't mean they are trying to lose weight and you should avoid saying things like " Why on earth are you working out?" Heaven forbid a thin person wants to add bulk to a frail and sick looking frame. Heaven forbid a tiny person wants to feel strong and accomplished. I know you mean no harm but think about it....would you ever say the same things to a fat person that you say to a thin person? We all know you wouldn't.

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Where the heck are you? Your absence is causing me to think and that can only lead to self realization! Not good at 2 am let me tell you! Major life changing decisions are probably not meant to be made in a sleep deprived state of mind. O they are!?! Time will tell. In the mean time do you mind high tailing it over to my house for a little sumpen sumpen! Get to work already!


Love ( I use that term loosely!),

Me